I needed a laugh after this day...thank you.....bwaaahahahahahahha
Seeking Knowledge
JoinedPosts by Seeking Knowledge
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57
I just did an evil
by seven006 ini went down to the local 7/11 a few miles from my house to by some 7/11 stuff.
as i was standing at the counter i glanced out at my car to see a little cheerleader wannabe girl leaning against it.
she was drinking a slushy type drink talking to her bubble gum little chicky buddies in her mom's new lincoln navigator next to my car.
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34
How do you handle a Volitile Ex??
by Seeking Knowledge inmy ex....is an idiot.
i have had problems with him from the get go when it comes to custody of our son.
we have gone to court and established some ground rules, which he consistantly bends & twists to suit him.
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Seeking Knowledge
If your ex-husband is unwilling to communicate with you regarding medical, schooling, etc. decisions then the court will re-consider joint legal custody. The court favors joint custody in situations where the parents are able to work together from what I have read.
that's exactly what my attorney told me. We have joint custody...there are stipulations and he's bent them any way he can. He refuses to communicate with me. Did I overreact?? Perhaps, but I would talk to my ex before I took him in for any procedure he didn't agree with. In that the back thing has been an issue from day one. I don't think a kid needs his back popped or "manipulated". that being said, it may not do any harm but I don't agree with it. He has never presented me with a good reason for it being done and even my sons' doctor said it wasn't good to do to "growing bones". The point is the man REFUSES to talk to me..bottom line. I don't think he should disregard my opinions or my concerns as the boys mother....but he does!
When I try to bring ANYTHING up to him including behaviour problems, he shrugs me off as if anything I have to say is not important. He told me last nite that he didn't care if I lost our sons spot in daycare and didn't care if I opposed things he does. He stated that when our son is with him what he does with him is NONE OF MY BUSINESS. This raises flags with me. If my son is in an accident and should require a blood transfusion or something, will he call me? I'm thinking not! Our custody agreement says I have final say on that, but if I'm not there how can I? He would deliberatly withhold this from any doctor. He does not care what the custody agreement says because he does not believe he should follow anyones rules but his own. My pediatrician is aware of the blood thing, but an ER is not, and would they be in time?? This is why I overreact!
What he is doing is pushing the very buttons that set off my alarms...."overreacting" is all I have. This isn't the first time he's pulled this. It's almost as if he has nothing at all better to do with his life than to figure out ways to push me. I've had enough. I do react to him, and while I'd like to think I will get better, it's hard not to react when he is using my son, an obvious emotional tool!
As respects the therapy thing, I have the same problem, everyone I talked to said my sons' father would have to sign to approve anyone to examine our son. According to my attorney, there's not much I can do about that right now. We both feel that he won't do it, and well that's just another shot foot for him. He's running out of feet!!
I appreciate all your responses, they help. I'm just so frustrated when it comes to this idiot & his blatant disregard for the rules. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect, but I do stick to the rules and I do try to do right by my son. I don't argue with his dad in front of him I don't undermine his authority when I see it happening, and I've tried to show his dad respect. It just keeps getting harder!!
SK....
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34
How do you handle a Volitile Ex??
by Seeking Knowledge inmy ex....is an idiot.
i have had problems with him from the get go when it comes to custody of our son.
we have gone to court and established some ground rules, which he consistantly bends & twists to suit him.
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Seeking Knowledge
Yea, I called my lawyer left a message....awaiting a phone call..
Jgnat...awesome..that's exactly what I need. I copied the pertinent info for him to look at and kept it available under my favorites. I doubt he'll read it. He tends to not believe in self help books or outside help. I think I may just hand it to him tonite when I pick up my son, maybe I'll get lucky & he'll be receptive to it. I can only try at this point.
Thanks all....it helps!
SK
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43
Hi everybody I'm new
by LongHairGal ini am a long time lurker who has come out of the closet.
i have read many fine posts here and feel for all of you who have been hurt by the witnesses.
they are a lying, unaccountable organization - with an emphasis on the word unaccountable!
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Seeking Knowledge
Welcome!
SK
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34
How do you handle a Volitile Ex??
by Seeking Knowledge inmy ex....is an idiot.
i have had problems with him from the get go when it comes to custody of our son.
we have gone to court and established some ground rules, which he consistantly bends & twists to suit him.
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Seeking Knowledge
Bottom line -- they can't be handled
I'm realizing this now....its just so very frustrating. I try to make it right by our son, always allowing more time with his dad when he (my ex) asks and always making sure that he knows his dad loves him & wants to spend time with him. For all the effort I give, I get squat from my ex. I don't want to be the enemy...but they are going out of their way to make sure they keep me in that position.
Ex's...can't live with them....can't shoot them.
SK....
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34
How do you handle a Volitile Ex??
by Seeking Knowledge inmy ex....is an idiot.
i have had problems with him from the get go when it comes to custody of our son.
we have gone to court and established some ground rules, which he consistantly bends & twists to suit him.
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Seeking Knowledge
All our custody agreement says is that no medical treatment will be withheld except blood, but if a doctor says he needs it I get final say on it. It also says that in the event of an emergency, he is to call me immediately. I want to change that in light of these recent events yes.
I'm not sure I can get a restraining order against him, but after my lawyer gets back to me, I'm calling mediation. That's in our agreement as well. My attorney says she feels that he will fail either to show up or even work with mediation and the next step is court. The judge already feels he's an idiot...he's just clarifying that for all to see, but we have to do it legally!
thanks for the advice!!
SK
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10
Advice?
by Ghosthunter inthis is not jw related, but there's so many people on this board that give such excellent advice.. i divorced my first husband in 1989. he is the father of my two boys.
i remarried at the end of 1990 and moved away from my home town.
my ex has never ever tried to contact me and my children have not talked to their 'biological' father in almost 15 years.
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Seeking Knowledge
If you instigate child support he may very well want to see them. Clearly he doesn't want that now, but he might and thats something you'd need to talk to your kids about. Could be they might want to know their dad, get some questions answered, etc. Regardless he owes it to them to support them and $60,000 would be a nice chunk for college. I've been toying with the same idea with my 16 year old. Her dad tucked tail & ran, he's never had anything to do with her, and I never chased him for my own selfish reasons. My attorney said child support would go back to birth on her. Just a thought. My only thing is I'm not real sure I want to be involved with him again, but she wants to know her father & ask some questions, and she's old enough to make that decision really...tough one!
Good luck
SK
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34
How do you handle a Volitile Ex??
by Seeking Knowledge inmy ex....is an idiot.
i have had problems with him from the get go when it comes to custody of our son.
we have gone to court and established some ground rules, which he consistantly bends & twists to suit him.
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Seeking Knowledge
My ex....is an idiot. I have had problems with him from the get go when it comes to custody of our son. We have gone to court and established some ground rules, which he consistantly bends & twists to suit him. Last nite he informed me that he wasn't going to take our son back to daycare (as written) because he decided that since he's been sniffling (due to cold) he's got allergies and took him to an accupuncturist/accupressure "doctor" who determined these said allergies and said it's best to keep him away from cats for 24 hours. Not only that, he went ahead and had the acupuncturist/accupressure "doctor" manipulate our sons spine & give him a massage (he's 4). Tried to tell me that it was ok to do that, and that he has his other son's back done as well. The baby is 2 1/2 months old. I'm not sure of the ramificiations of "manipulating" a child that young's back.
Needless to say my head came off my shoulders for various reasons....most of all because he didn't see fit to tell me any of this until I called him and because he doesn't feel it's "any of my business" to call me & discuss what he does with our son. He does not have an open line of communication with me and when I try he tells me that it's none of my business. I spent the best part of our converstion trying to explain to him why it IS in fact my business and that he needs to include me and work WITH me. He doesn't see that as an issue. He and his wife like to pretend I don't exist when they have my son. What I say doesn't matter I'm a nobody.
Am I wrong to feel a little upset?? My problem with my ex is he's very passive aggressive and I'm very passionate when it comes to my kid and so I totally react to him, including tears. He never talks to me about our son (until I bring up problems then it's all out war) he tells me that major life changes in our sons life that involve him (marriage/baby) doesn't mean he has to tell me. I must preface that our son has been acting out BIG TIME since the baby was born and I told him (the ex) that it would have been nice to have a heads up so I would know why. He also says that our son NEVER does anything bad when he's with his dad. I can tell you that when it comes time for him to visit his dad, he freaks out. His dad sees that as me being too soft on him and doesn't allow our son to have "feelings" if you will...tells him to knock it off and then continues to tell him he's a baby and we "don't teach you to be like this" and how he "has to set an example" to the baby. Again, my son is 4. He sees the lips moving but all he hears is "blah blah blah". He just knows that he doesn't want to go and dad doesn't care. When I get him back from a visit with his dad he's full of anger and he has taken to screaming & hitting when he has to do something he doesn't want to do.
My ex takes everything to a personal level whenever I try to talk to him. He's wonderful at telling me that I've done this or I've done that and the discussion always veers off the subject (our son). I'm at my wits end and am currently waiting for my attorney to call. In the meantime...how do you handle such a person? I end up losing my mind he makes me crazy! Not taking him back to daycare because "I made this decision and that's the way it is" is pretty much going to get him in more trouble than he realizes, but how do I handle him in the meantime?? It's not so easy to "just ignore" him.
I want to pop his head off his shoulders but since murder is still a felony I need help!! I have to face him tonite and have pretty much bitten off my tounge in the past. How the hell do I deal with this until I get to court?? Let him get away with it?? Go with the flow?? Any suggestions??
SK.....thanks for letting me rant.....
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9
the lil engine that.................couldnt!
by candidlynuts inhttp://www.exbyte.net/showit.php?videoid=240
click to view.. .
sometimes you just dont need an economy car.......
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Seeking Knowledge
That's hillarious!! Altho I noticed the bar of single gals at the top of the video while it was loading were all from Alaska....I've never heard of "John Fitzgerald Kennedy City, Alaska"....must be one of the bush communities??
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20
PULP FICTION et al
by stillajwexelder inas you know, a loyal dub is not supposed to watch stuff like pulp fiction, basic instinct, last tango in paris -- what films which are classics have you now watched and caught up with which you could not watch when you were a witness -- saw pulp fiction for the first time this week - brilliant
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Seeking Knowledge
I have to weigh in on this even tho I'm not JW...my ex LOVED Pulp Fiction and Scarface and he still has these movies, Resevoir Dogs..anything with blood & gore. The other day I went to his house (he lives with his folks) to get my son & he showed me Farenheit 9/11!!
Interesting!!
SK